Plataforma Educativa Virtual del Sinae
When Women Chase Men Who Aren’t Interested
Collateral Damage: What Happens When Women Only Dig Men Who Just Aren’t That Into Them
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When first hearing about the Harvard University/University of Virginia study that showed women to be more interested in and attracted to men if they don’t know whether this interest and attraction is reciprocated, my first thought was “Thank you, Captain Obviouses. Anything else you all need to tell me? Did a corresponding team of nutless monkeys also study whether it hurts when you spray Frank’s Hot Sauce in your eyes?”
Seriously, from the club and the existence of the close bus to “He’s Just Not That Into You” and the entire premise of “What Chilli Wants,” life and pop culture are filled with numerous examples of proof that many women tend to only get turned on by men who wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.
But, while this study rehashes a perpetually recycled point, it did inspire a few questions, most notably…
“Well, we already know that many women only dig men who just aren’t that into them. But, how does that affect everyone else? Most importantly, is there any collateral damage, and what exactly would that collateral damage be?”
I was feeling especially smart yesterday, so I tried to answer my own questions.
1. Men who do actually dig these women begin to think that they need to mimic the characteristics of the “liked” guys in order to get liked back, and they’re right to believe that. Only problem is that many of them adopt the wrong characteristics, get more frustrated, and get “unliked” even more.
This happens everyday.
Boy meets Girl at annual Delta Sigma Theta Tanqueray Drink-a-Thon. Boy’s into Girl, but Boy gets the feeling that Girl is about as enthusiastic about him as Cromartie is to condoms, and Boy is right. The only chance Boy has of getting between Girl’s sheets is if he hide in her laundry basket. Despite this, Boy stupidly allows himself to stay cool with Girl, and eventually becomes the de facto limp-d*cked shoulder to lean on as Girl gets played by guy after guy. Boy notices this, and begins to act distant and antagonistic towards girl — mimicking the characteristics of the guys Girl is interested in. Thing is, Boy doesn’t realize that Girl allows these guys to be distant and antagonistic because she’s interested in them. Basically, they have carte blanche to be assholes because they have other attractive qualities. Boy misinterprets this, though, and goes from “unattractive” to “unattractive asshole.” Frustrated, unliked, and stll celibate, Boy dons peacock feathers and sings “Eff You” at 2011 Grammy Awards.
2. Women begin to lose faith in all men…not just the ones who don’t want them.
You know, there’s a name for the type of person who’d write off an entire group of people just because a few of these people disappointed them, even though this endless disappointment is largely their fault. And by, “You know, there’s a name for the type of person who’d write off an entire group of people just because a few of these people disappointed them, even though this endless disappointment is largely their fault.” I mean “Women are crazy.”
3. The women who actually do like the guys mentioned in #1 — men who harbor unreciprocated affections for certain women — begin to resent the women these men harbor the unreciprocated affection for.
Quite possibly the most ironic(?) effect of the women only digging men who don’t really dig them phenomenon is the fact that this woman’s actions will eventually cause other, less sought after, women to resent them. But, while this sentiment may seem like 80 proof haterade on the surface, it’s more a sense of “Bitch, do you realize how hard you’re making it for all of us because your silly ass is still caught up with Floyd Mayweather???”
4. Guys used to women they’re lukewarm about going gaga over them start treating all women with the same general sense of apathy and subtle disdain.
Basically, you create new Diva Dudes; an entire batch of tuxedoed-for-no-good-gotdamn-reason assholes free to infest happy hours, game nights, and mixers with their excessively initialed stench. Ah Phooey!
Anyway, falks, do you think women are more likely to be into men who really aren’t that into them? If so, why? Also, ladies: do you get annoyed when you see other women playing and dismissing perfectly good dudes for assholes?
Lastly, do you agree that this phenomenon has quite a few peripheral effects, and is this just an accepted part of the dating game? If a black blogger asked a bunch of contrived questions in the woods, would Chilli chase him down?